Twenty Four

IMG_4945lights06It’s been exactly 2 weeks since I turned 24. The day wasn’t a great one, I was already dreading it and woke up with a raging headache and a stinking case of the sads. I didn’t want a birthday when I’ve been feeling so outside of myself and I was terrified of feeling excited then letting myself down on the day. So it was a pretty nothing day. I slept a lot, was horrifically cranky and don’t remember much else. It sucked.

But the next day was better. I did my usual morning stuff; feed the cats, bring the dog out on ‘business’, tidy the house, do the laundry; the normal daily things that help me feel like a person. The middle part is a bit blurry but that night we ate toasties and watched Inside Out and cuddled and I mostly remember thinking that if this is what 24 is, I’m ok with that. I may not be who, what or where I planned to be but things are good. Under all the rusty, dusty stuff there’s still something pretty shiny.

So, here are twenty-four thoughts about being twenty-four.

I’ve gone from full-on hardcore ‘mornings are evil and actively trying to ruin my life, soul and happiness’ person to a “morning is my quiet time to get stuff done” type of person. A true shock to everyone.

I like coffee now. A lot. Too Much.

I’m not what I thought I would be but thinking about it now, I wouldn’t want to be.

I finally have short hair, something I’ve always wanted and always wimped out of. It’s amazing, fuzzy and cute as heck.

I really love doing laundry.

A trip to Asda is literally the most exciting thing and I love that.

Still obsessed with Demi Lovato.

Have become a Justin Bieber fan.

I got a pink ukulele for my birthday, another thing I’ve always wanted and wimped out of. I love it, suck at it and refuse to stop.

Being in a relationship at 24 feels pretty different from being in one at 19 in ways I can’t quite put my finger on but everyday, even when everything is shitty, we are perfect and I feel so happy to be with the same person after all of this time.

Trees are incredible, seriously, how great are trees?

I don’t read how I used to. The need to read everything, to know everything and have an opinion on everything has completely dissipated. I read what I like, when I like and I don’t care if it’s something reputable or pure beautiful trash. It’s super freeing and much more fun.

Burning passions for certain things have burned out and that’s ok.

I forgive that friend for the horrible stuff she said but I’m now comfortable saying she’s a dick and she was wrong.

Happiness isn’t a constant struggle. It isn’t the goal. I’ve figured out that you can’t be happy all of the time and it’s unfair to feel like a failure when you just can’t. All emotions are valid and needed. Even the crappy ones.

I’m still not very good at walking in heels but damn it, I try.

Candles, guys. Candles.

Having a dog is the greatest, he makes every single day feel real and tangible and hopeful. Today he learned how to roll over and if the rest of the day falls to poop I’ll be going to bed with a super dorky proud smile on my face.

I’m smarter than I thought I was, just not in the way I tried to be.

Legally Blonde is still the best movie ever.

A tidy bedside table is the greatest thing in the world.

I can take pills now! Without having to eat an entire yogurt for each one!

Some people are horrible and say horrible things and it’s ok to get angry at these people.

I feel like a cute chubby little pink marshmallow and I love it.

Meg

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