Wednesday is my favourite day of the week. It’s new comic book day, the weekend is coming into view and I’ve generally settled into whatever routine changes I’ve made. Wednesday is great. It’s the day to learn from Monday and Tuesday’s mistakes and make the rest of the week lovely.
Snaps for you, Wednesday.
Today has been a Mouse-full day. I haven’t written a single word and my word count is sitting-pretty, still below 10K. But my ideas are flowing and I can feel the dust floating away and my confidence sneaking in past my worry. Everything that I’ve written so far is exactly what I want it to be. I’m so happy with all of it and there’s a proud little flame in my chest every time I open the cute little folder that greets me on my desktop.
Mouse feels like something 15 year old me would be proud of. Shy but over-confident “going to be published by the time I’m 18” me who stayed up all night writing and insisted that there was a story in everything but not enough time to tell them all. She’d be surprised. But she’d love it. She’d probably even be a little jealous, which makes me very happy in a very weird way.
Mouse has changed tone a couple times, only to go back to my first instinct anyway. Each change taught and brought me something new and for once in my life I’m not fighting with time. I suppose I have patience, but it doesn’t feel like patience. It just feels kind of right. I feel good. I feel creative. A part of me that was hiding for a while has come back out and been welcomed more warmly than I thought possible. I don’t feel stressed to get Mouse done right now. I just want to do it right. I’m enjoying the process. The changes don’t frustrate me like they used to, they fascinate me.
One major change is that Mouse is now written in free verse and oh my giddy giddy aunt do I love writing free verse. It’s liberating, it flows so cleanly and feels so powerful. Like the words are characters that demand their own space and weight.
I go to sleep thinking about Mouse, I wake up thinking about Mouse, I navigate my way through stress and panic by thinking about Mouse. For once I’m not at all focused on the finish line, although I’m confident that I’ll reach it.
I’ve also decided to take part in Camp NaNoWriMo which runs through April. All that really means is that I’ll set a word goal and try to reach it by the end of April, with the help of just the right amount of peer pressure. Through March I’ll continue to work on Mouse, planning and developing and building on what I already have without stressing about word count. If you’re taking part in Camp NaNoWriMo let me know and we can support each other!
I guess the point of this post is just to say this: still writing, still trying, still pushing through.